birds in my ears

this industry is over-saturated and its literally the most frustrating thing ever. 

peace out 2014

i haven’t been on tumblr in a while but that’s okay. i like to write about the past year a little bit as a new one begins so that’s why i’m here.

2014 has been full of so many different things. i started it out by going to london for a few days, took my first “solo” trip see albert, attempted to figure out what i want to do with photography, tried yoga, worked on and presented my senior show, graduated college with my bachelor’s degree in photography and an art history minor, started to enjoy exercising a little, spent a month with albert, drove 40 hours across the country (and back) with my best friend and her parents and spent a week in arizona and saw the grand canyon, lost my grandmother, got a promotion at work, got a photo assisting job, went to vegas with my family, went to visit albert for a few weeks and spent thanksgiving with him, began looking at my photography more in a business sense than i have before and am starting to get everything on track, and then i brought in 2015 on new years eve with my best friends. 

i spent over 100 days traveling this year, most of which were to go see albert. i got to spend time exploring two new states, two new countries, and a ton of new cities. i got to spend a week in vegas with my family. i got to go to arizona with my best friend. we climbed lots of rocks and felt the “vortex” and ate granola bars while we were looking out on what felt like the whole world.  i got to spend a lot of time with albert. the days we spend together are such a gift. most people think it is crazy to love someone so far away but we make every second that we are together count. this year has been so great for us because we got to spend so much time together. every day i feel so crazy in love with him despite the distance and he really is the only other person to understand that feeling. 

i still am not 100% sure what i want to do with photography, and that is because i want to do too many things with photography. its a blessing and a curse!!! so i am starting to look at it more in a business sense and its making things a little bit easier.

i’ve learned to take things as they come and not get too caught up in the small things. life will happen no matter what. things will happen and there is nothing you can do about it. so i’ve realized not to sweat the small things and to just let things happen organically. this has been one of the greatest things that i have actually put into motion this year. while i always believed this, i never actually sat back about it. you would think it would make me more passive than i already am, but it has actually made me stronger all around - it lets you put thing into perspective so you can see the important things to focus on. also sometimes i don’t realize how many people i have supporting me and backing me on every step that i take. lately i’ve opened my eyes to it and it is such an encouraging feeling.

my grandmother learned that she had cancer and then within two months she was gone. honestly those two months are still a giant mess in my head. with everything, there are so many things that you wanted to talk about , that you wanted to ask, that you wanted to hear about, photos you wanted to show, but you never made the time. and i lost the opportunity to have that time back. thats another lesson that i learned though. i don’t want to lose those opportunities ever again. 

i started yoga a little less than a year ago. at first i thought it was really lame but now i think its awesome. im not that great but its really cool to know that you can bend your body and do certain things you never thought you could do. the same goes with exercising.. by no means do i love exercising but i miss the feeling of being in shape. i joined a gym for the first time this year and i am actually starting to feel strong so that’s a nice feeling!

i graduated over six months ago and by now i figured i’d be doing so many different things, none of which i am doing. but that is what is great about life! although i’m not doing what i thought i’d be doing, i’m still so happy with where i am at the moment. up i go!

so what am i looking forward to in 2015? photographing more music and more of what i love, pushing my photography a lot more than i have in the past and focusing on my business and brand, getting stronger and taking care of my body more, taking a little adventure that i can’t really talk yet about but think about everyday, working my butt off so i can pay off my loans and i can pay for more trips, albert finding out about the visa lottery, traveling & visiting albert, albert coming here to visit, seeing a ton of more European cities, planning a trip to Australia, hopefully seeing the west coast, transitioning from office life to photog life towards the end of the year, and allowing myself to go wherever life takes me.

here i come 2015!

i’ve been home for less than two weeks and i’ve already booked my flight for my next trip and am planning one more before the end of the  year. opps.

flight is booked, concert tickets are purchased. excited to see this crazy kid in 22 days!!!

looking at flights until my eyeballs fall out. i just want to book one but i know once i do, the flight that i actually want is going to come down in price. WAH.

things are weird and i don’t like it.

People keep asking what my plans are for after graduation or what kind of job i want. And I think they all think I am crazy or unprepared or delusional or that I don’t understand the “real world” when I tell them what I want to do.

I want to spend the next year traveling and photographing, focusing on freelancing photography whether that is while traveling or event photography. And when I’m home, I will be working my part time job for some steady income. 

I’m not crazy, I’m just doing what I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t want to be strapped to a 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday job. I just want to create art and make beautiful photographs.